Back to Blogging

I'm back to blogging my way through this journey of motherhood! Specifically, I'm thrilled to begin recording our experience of adoption. Tonight we set through an orientation, signed contracts and felt the reality of what we're actually doing. So many emotions have overwhlemed me the past two weeks. Since receiving our acceptance from All God's Children, the agency we're using I've felt restless and not at peace. Is it the enemy attacking me, telling me the risk is too great? Of course he does not want to see once less orphan in the world. He certainly is not the spirit of peace. Maybe this is really God telling us to slow down and step back. Afterall, we are selling a house, building a new one, preparing to move to a new state and in the mix of it all raising three little boys. But, as I sat and listened the Spirit God spoke clearly to me about my faith:

He alone is the author and PERFECTOR of my faith (Heb. 12:2). He is my light and salvation, whom shall I fear (Psalm 27:1), even when I can't pinpoint the exact fear. He knows and I can TRUST because TRUSTING in Him fills the void in me. Galation 3:6 says, Consider Abraham: 'He believed God and it was credited to him as righteousness." Abraham BELIEVED God and how I so want to break MY will and accept the portion God has for me by BELIEVING HIM. I love Romans 4:17 "The God who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were." By grace God takes the impossible and makes it POSSILBE! Even when I struggle and doubt I can run to God and pour out who I am to receive who HE is (the Spirit). I know He will bless this decision because we are walking by faith and saying, "Yes, Lord we will step off that boat and walk on the waters of the unknown." I'm so thankful, however that though we walk through the unknown He will never let go.

On a lighter note...we look forward to this spiritual journey, experiencing more of Him, the creator of adoption (Ephesians 1:3-8). We are humbled God would lead us down this path and ache for the day our baby girl will be in our arms. She will be set free and no longer an orphan!